By Lisa Elle
It’s not your net worth or how much money you have that determines your financial strength.
I’m guessing that statement runs contrary to what our society believes, but as a trained financial professional, my point of view is different.
As Brené Brown suggests in her book, Daring Greatly, our strength comes from vulnerability and believing that to be true.
I believe our financial strength also comes from a place of vulnerability. Financial vulnerability translates to a balancing act between what we ‘know’ and what we are able to admit that we ‘don’t know’ in regards to our financial situations.
It’s about finding that humble place in the middle – where perfectionism drowns alongside egos and shame dissipates. It’s that sweet spot; where you can dance with and happily balance the ‘living’ with the ‘planning’. Clearly, this applies to more than just the financial areas of our lives.
I’ve spent years in deep thought, applying years of education, floundering, seeking, failing, succeeding, figuring out my purpose, trying to find my place, figuring my whole life out…
…only to feel as though it’s all been a useless waste of time; like I’m back at square one again.
Through it all, this has been my quest: finding financial strength within. It has been years in the making. As a self-proclaimed recovering perfectionist, I’ve struggled, like most people I know, to find my strength as a woman – and this includes my financial strength.
I am not giving you wisdom from the top of a mountain, because there is no top to anyone’s financial mountain; it’s more like a set of hills you travel up and down, often.
I am however, a pro hill climber, and here are the 5 ways I’ve achieved success along the way as I continuing to find and build my financial strength:
1. Hold on with Open Hands
I think the big secret in life is to hold on with open hands; never hold anything tightly. This goes for people, investments, jobs, relationships; anything we want to control.
Live in a place where life’s riches and blessings of all types are free to come and go. If you can’t leave this earth with it, then it’s probably not yours anyway. Remember, it’s hard to place a gift in a closed fist.
2. Plan Your Work, Work Your Plan – Then Let It Go
Don’t wait for someone else to tell you to do something. Live in the ebb and flow of life – make your financial plans, work hard, yet be at peace with things not going your way.
Be paradoxical in mind – knowing you should make plans and set goals and work hard…
Remain focused and committed in the moment, but know that none of it means anything at the end of the day. Be able to admit you’re right sometimes, that you’re wrong a lot, that you’ve succeeded and failed – and then move along.
3. Keep an Abundant Mindset
100% of our financial success has to do with our mindset.
What we manifest financially comes from our mindset. Keep your financial mindset strong and positive.
Abundance wants to flow to you.
Keep reading positive books, blogs and quotes.
Keep writing down your goals – pen to paper (or in my case whiteboard!)
Surround yourself with the people you want to be like.
In my practice, I learn everything about my clients. I not only know intimate details of their financial lives, I also become privy to details surrounding their health and well-being.
Knowing so much about my clients, I see first-hand the deep connection between health and finances.
4. Love Your Money
Take interest in, and care for, your money. Appreciate it. I’m not saying be greedy or make it your god. I’m saying to be a good steward of the things that you’ve been blessed with. Apathy breeds nothing. Who wants to be around people who aren’t interested in you?
Money’s no different. Treat your money well – seriously. Be thankful and grateful for every cent. Track it. You will manifest more of it. Care for your money, and it will care for you back!
5. Clear Your Money Blocks
I know first-hand when I’m having a money block – it affects my mood, my attitude, my health, and most unfortunately, my smile.
I also know when I’m not feeling well physically, that other areas of my life aren’t doing so hot either, and the downward spiral begins.
There will always be money road-blocks as you journey through life. The quicker you handle them ultimately decides how quickly you will be able to get the desired outcome. Because when money issues arise (and they will) they can wreak havoc on your life including mild depression, weight gain, fatigue, etc.
Acknowledge your money block, own it, declare it, clear it, free it, and let it go. If you give it no power then it has none over your life.
So today, fellow hill climbers, I hope you receive the blessing of my words as you continue building your financial strength within.
By Teresa de Grosbois
The worst year of my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. I can affectionately look back on it now because of the change and growth it caused in me. At the time, all I could think of was how unhappy I was. In the first six months of that year, my father died, my marriage failed, my company failed and I lost my health.
There I was, late one night, sitting on the bathroom floor of my new condo. I have always renovated as a hobby and this bathroom was my latest project. I was looking at all the tools, and I burst into tears. The realization hit me – it was me that needed renovating.
That moment, on that bathroom floor, was the first step of my path to embracing inner strength and influence.
Have you ever truly thought about what influence is and why it’s important? Influence is our ability to cause change in the world – from shifting a political agenda to impacting whether meatloaf gets served in our cafeteria.
The challenge is that most of us are hard-wired with an inner dialogue that stops us from being influential. If you’ve read any self-help or leadership books in the last three decades, you have heard of the concept of a self-limiting belief – that inner conversation that runs in the back of your mind that says you aren’t big enough, important enough, smart enough, educated enough or well, just enough.
Research shows that the only people who don’t have self-limiting beliefs stopping them from becoming influential tend to be sociopaths. When everyday heroes and good people stop themselves from stepping into leadership and influence, we, as a society, risk having our children grow up in a world run by sociopaths, which is not the world any of us are committed to creating.
Inner strength comes from having the courage to take on your inner dialogue and play a bigger game, which is exactly what I decided to do that night on that bathroom floor. And when you look at influential people, you’ll see that not only have they found a way to overcome their own limiting beliefs, but also operate by a different set of principles than most people.
One of the reasons I wrote Mass Influence was that I wanted entrepreneurs, everyday heroes and good people to realize that influence is simply a skill we can learn by adopting certain habits.
Here are the top three habits you can build to increase your influence in your community, your business or your project.
1. Solve a big problem for other people
Vision inspires; day-to-day activities do not. Influential people are driven by their why, not their what. Influencers define themselves by their vision of making a big difference, not by what they do or how they do it.
The bigger the problem you solve for others, the bigger the service you provide, the more happiness or relief you bring, the easier it is to be the subject of positive word of mouth and, as a result, have influence.
2. Be authentic
Being passionate about what you do is a big part of authenticity. Do something you care about deeply and only do business with and play with others you respect. When you’re in the flow of your purpose, the fame and influence will come as soon as you put the actions in place that garner fame and create influence. Influence requires you to take your place among the community of influential, and true influence stems from keeping your focus on serving others.
3. Build relationships with other influential people
The ability to cause change in the world depends on many factors, not the least of which is the people with whom you choose to surround yourself. It starts with strong relationships.
Influential people assertively seek out and build relationships with other influential people who they respect and admire regardless of the area in which they hold influence. Find the people who agree with you. Forget the opponents. The highly influential know there is no gold in trying to convince the naysayers. Gather those who want to help you move powerfully towards your goal.
* * *
If you are looking to hold influence, know that you have everything you need to get started. You have the strength to take that first step. Whether it’s change within your community, your corporation or the world at large, the principles of mass influence are the same. Mastering the concept of what creates influence can be a hard idea to grasp, much less follow. Yet, like riding a bike, once you master being influential, you’ll wonder how you ever thought it was hard.
Living your dreams takes action. Otherwise you’re just dreaming.
Teresa de Grosbois,
#1 International bestselling author of Mass Influence – www.MassInfluenceTheBook.com
By Ramona Remesat
The theme of this issue of Trifecta Magazine is Resolve to Be Strong and as I sit down to write about this, I find myself going through a mix of emotions.
You see, the last two weeks have been incredibly difficult for me as we had a sudden loss in our family. If you watched the popular daytime TV show, Steven & Chris, you may have heard that one of the co-hosts, Christopher Hyndman died tragically and unexpectedly at the young age of 49. Chris left behind his co-host and life partner, Steven Sabados, who also happens to be my beloved cousin.
As soon as I heard the news of Christopher’s passing my heart shattered into a million pieces. I was absolutely heart-broken for my cousin Steven who had built an amazing life with Chris over the past 27 years. Together in life, and in business, they were everything to each other.
Resolve to be Strong.
Isn’t it ironic how this is the theme for the Winter issue of Trifecta yet so apropos to me now as I sit to write about it in August.
When we gather in a time of loss, it’s a normal feeling to want to “be strong” for those most deeply affected. Indeed, I thought my role in traveling back to Ontario to be with family would be to stay strong and help support them in their grief. Instead, I learned that sometimes real strength comes from falling apart completely and then slowly putting the pieces back together.
“Without darkness, there can be no light”
I quickly realized that there was no way in hell I was going to be the strong one! And when I stepped back into a place of surrender, I learned that real strength comes from giving yourself permission to be who you are and to ask for what you want.
Here’s what that looked like for me…
Be who you are – No matter how hard I tried to appear strong at all times, it just wasn’t what I was feeling. I was a mess and I knew it and I felt no reason to hide it. That’s because true strength doesn’t come from hiding or repressing your feelings, it comes from being genuine and authentic. In my grief, I found comfort in telling others how much I was hurting and allowing myself to feel what I needed to feel. By allowing myself to cry and grieve in my own way, I allowed the healing process to begin.
Ask for what you need – Grief is an individual process meaning no two people will experience grief in the same way. While one person may need comfort from others, someone else may want to be left alone. Regardless, recognizing what you need in the moment and going ahead and asking for it, is not only okay, but a necessary step in the healing process.
Accepting help from others – I was overwhelmed at the outpouring of support that came to me in the form of phone calls, emails, texts and posts. Many people asked if there was anything I needed and I found it healing and comforting to ask for prayers of healing, love and support for Steven, our family, Christopher’s family, all their friends and also the fans of the show. Keep those prayers coming!
The last several weeks have truly been a learning experience for me. Although grief is incredibly difficult, I am grateful for all the lessons it has revealed to me. And I am grateful because it shows that I love deeply with all of my heart and soul. Without darkness, there can be no light. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ramona Remesat is an Intuitive Mindset Coach, Angel Therapy Practitioner®, speaker and author. She works with spiritually open-minded women coaches, consultants and entrepreneurs who struggle with fears, stress and self-doubt who want to stop second-guessing themselves, make clear and confident decisions and crush their limiting mind stories. Get started today with The Three Essential Steps to Getting Anything You Want in Life at www.ramonaremesat.com.
100 Women Who Care Calgary is a local grassroots organization that brings women and local causes together in a simple, powerful way.
Being a stay-at-home mom to two little boys, age 18 months and 3 years old, I was run off my feet and rarely got to sleep a night through. I realized that my visions of modelling charity to my kids might have to take the back-burner, because who has the time? But I really did care. And I really did want to help in a way that my kids could be proud of. And, let’s face it, as someone who had left a career six months earlier to stay at home with my kids, I wanted to show my little guys that their mom could be a leader in the community – even though she no longer earned a paycheck.
So, when I walked into a meeting of 100 Women Who Care – Windsor / Essex County (Ontario), having been invited by my mother-in-law, Donna Lapczuk, it lit up a spark inside of me that would soon become a wildfire.
These ladies met just four times per year, for only 1 hour. In that hour, they learned about 3 amazing local charities (spoken for by other members of the group that had put in the nomination), they jointly selected one of those charities and promptly each wrote a cheque – directly to that charity – for $100. When one hundred women get together and each give $100, why that’s a $10,000 donation. In just one hour. I was floored. I knew I had to bring this concept to Calgary. I no longer cared about the time I lacked, nor the sleep I lacked. I loved the power of the group, the voices of the women taking matters into their own hands. This just had to happen in Calgary.
By September, I was buying a domain name, creating a Facebook page and starting the recruiting process. That’s when my co-founder, Christy Parker, came into the picture. It was as if the stars aligned to bring her in at just the right moment! The date was already booked, Nov. 4, 2013 at the Marriott Hotel Downtown Calgary. I was working on the website (something I had never done before). The only thing I had up online was a Facebook page. Christy had heard of the launch of the Kingston chapter of 100 Women Who Care and was similarly inspired to get one going in Calgary. She found my Facebook page and the rest is history. A beautiful partnership ensued and five weeks later, we raised nearly $8000 for the Hera Program at the Boys and Girls Clubs of Calgary.
To date, we have held seven 1-hour meetings and have given Calgary charities a total of over $100,000! Visit our website to view the charities we have supported.
100 Women Who Care Calgary is NOT a charity, we are a vehicle. Donations are 100% direct to charity. We have no bank account or employees because we don’t collect, spend or donate anything – it is our members who make the donations directly to the local charities. The goal of the group is to support the wonderful work that our local charities do in funds, exposure and awareness in a minimal amount of time. We have an amazing team of volunteers along with the assistance of some very generous sponsors. 100 Women Who Care Calgary is proud to say that we were the first chapter of it’s kind in Western Canada. The concept is simple and effective and we encourage members of every city and town to seek out or start a local chapter and make a difference in your community today.
By Alison Lapczuk
Co-Founder, 100 Women Who Care Calgary
Proud to be ‘1 in 100’!
In just a few shorts weeks the kids will be back in school and the frost will arrive. YUCK! As I am NOT a fan of the cold weather, I started daydreaming about my last trip to Maui. While browsing through the shops I saw a cute sign that read:
“If you are lucky enough to live in Hawaii… you are lucky enough.”
I mean how could anyone living in a Hawaiian paradise be anything BUT happy?? And yet, even there, happiness is elusive for some. I started to wonder how that’s even possible and I began to see that there are three common “happiness thieves” that rob people of their joy and keep them from living their lives to the fullest.
Read on to learn how to identify those tricky happiness stealers and three simple strategies to turn frowns upside down.
Worry is probably the biggest happiness stealer out there and it stems from thinking that we are all alone in our problem/ challenge/situation. It’s as if it’s just us and our worries all alone in a dingy room locked in a staring contest with one other. You don’t feel empowered. You don’t feel supported. You feel entirely and utterly alone and vulnerable.
Now instead of that picture, imagine THIS! Envision yourself standing at the head of a table in a flashy, executive boardroom. Seated all around that table is your spiritual team. This team is comprised of your angels, deceased loved ones, Ascended Masters, and guides who are all EXPERTS in providing you with Divine assistance. Now doesn’t THAT picture feel much better?
Here’s how to get it:
Rather than worry about your situation, CHOOSE to turn it over to your team. Just tell them what you need help with. Try something like, “God/Angels/Universe/Divine Mind/Source etc. please help me with (fill in the blank with what you are worried about). Then TRUST that they hear what you have asked for and will get to work on it immediately. The next step for you is to pay attention to your inner guidance and take action on the intuitive thoughts, ideas and gut feelings that you receive. Now don’t worry, be happy!
THE WORK, WORK, WORK MENTALITY
How many times have you heard someone say, “When my work is done, THEN I can have fun or THEN I will relax or THEN I will go on vacation.” This is such a backward way of thinking, yet it’s rampant out there!
Consider this. Every emotion carries a vibration. When you feel excited, happy and joyful your vibration is high. And in THIS state you are highly attractive in the sense that you attract even MORE reasons to be excited, happy and joyful. The right people show up in your life, the right opportunities come along and the money is there to support you and your dreams.
When you regularly take part in joyful activities and surround yourself with people, places, and things that make you happy, you will find that the work almost takes care of itself. Case in point, it seems we all know “those people” who seem to have it all despite not really working that hard for it. How is that possible? It’s because “those people” have figured out that happiness is a must have, not a luxury. And as a result, their high vibration allows them to attract exactly what they need and desire.
Here’s how to get that:
Having fun doesn’t mean you have to spend a lot of money or a lot of time. Just try to infuse each day with something that makes you happy. Do you love to read? Then pick up a great book and read a few pages. Do you love to create? Then draw, sew, paint, write or garden. Rarely give yourself permission to relax? Then set up a basin with some hot water mixed with sea salt and soak your feet for a few minutes while flipping through a magazine (and why not enjoy a cold beverage at the same time). There are TONS of things you can do. You just have to make the CHOICE to do them.
STUFFING YOUR FEELINGS
These days, it seems to me that people do not have healthy ways of dealing with their feelings. Instead of FEELING them, they stuff them so far down that they never see the light of day. They think that by sweeping their emotions under the proverbial rug they won’t have to deal with them. This may work for a short time, but soon enough there’s a big bump under the carpet and they aren’t fooling anyone. Stuffing your feelings creates dis-ease within the body that, left unchecked, can manifest physically as disease. And you obviously don’t want to go down that road! So please, please, please don’t ignore your feelings.
Crappy things happen in life. The trick though is to let yourself feel your feelings but then make the CHOICE to move forward and not get pulled into the quicksand of despair.
Here’s how to do it:
Journaling is a healthy way to express yourself and a wonderful tool to help you deal with your feelings. Some people prefer to write about what they are feeling in the form of a letter, not with the intent of sending it, but just as a way to release and let go of emotions like anger, resentment, unforgiveness and guilt. You can even address the letter to yourself as most people harbour these feelings against themselves.
Remember, happiness is not something external that we strive for, but rather it’s within us all along. You just have to CHOOSE.
By Ramona Remesat
Ramona Remesat is an Intuitive Mindset Coach, author and speaker. She helps open-minded entrepreneurs, who struggle with fears that hold them back, make clear and confident decisions and crush their limiting mind-stories.
Get started today with The Three Essential Steps to Getting Anything You Want In Life at www.ramonaremesat.com