By Meredith Penner
A friend recently posted a desperate meme on her Facebook page asking anyone out there to please, please tell her she is worthy. What follows was the response I was intuitively guided to post. There is so much life to align with, and what I have discovered through various stages of my own development is touched on here. I hope it speaks to your heart and encourages your soul. Or if you have already done this work, perhaps it will give voice to a process, so you might be able to share with someone you care about, in a similar state as my friend…
No matter how many people tell you, you are worthy, it will never be as potent as you telling yourself and believing it. Even if you don’t believe it, stand in the mirror and tell yourself you are open to believing it. Have a heart to heart with your soul and say “I know beauty and joy are more than skin deep. I am not an object. I am a piece of the Divine spark of creation. When I feel hollow it is not about the image I see in the mirror, it is about my core being. It is about the distance between where I am and the truth of my wholeness as my Higher self sees it.” Let it sink in. When you are not aligned with the essence of your highest self (when we criticize our worth, beat ourselves up, believe we will never amount to anything) we put a wedge in that stops the highest and greatest good of our truth to come through and light us up from the inside.
There is an intelligent design within our DNA, if you leap, in faith and say “I AM open to more” This starts a process of healing, a change in perspective, It may seem too easy, but no one can do it for you. You must be willing to put down your fear and calm the voices inside that tell you it can’t be that simple, or that others will find it ridiculous. Take the chance…what have you got to lose? You may fear the unknown, the loss of who you think you are and you may fear feeling even more empty if you give up the negative talk that is inside now…..the familiar voice of self abuse. I assure you, the process is benevolent, it will show you the next steps. If all you can do to start right now is the following reality check: “In this moment I am safe” then start there. Sit with it in silence and see what comes up for you!
Your whole life depends on it, and at the far end of this work (the only real work that humans ever need to do) there is a promise of freedom, joy, life, light and love. We are trapped in the illusion of “less than” as the whole Universe waits behind the veil for each of us to claim our truth, our birthright , our integration of the Divine inside. Your DNA will heal itself, you can speak to it and change it’s program. Don’t be surprised if you are guided to journal…..to write down all of the lower vibrational experiences you have had….even if it takes days (like it did for me) just write all of your ‘shit’ down, then burn it….clear it out. You may find love in it, you may find human nature. There is nothing new under the sun. Anything on that list has happened in the lives of countless others. Get it all out, for your eyes only and start fresh….if you have to do this for an undetermined length of time…gift any amount of time it takes to yourself. Just start…..believe, ask God, The Universe, your Higher self for understanding and ask for strength….start. Look in the mirror and DARE TO SAY….”I chose life in every cell, in every quantum ripple, in every time line, in every belief.” Cut the cords to all things that are not life affirming as you notice they no longer support your choice to become the person you were always meant to be. Step away from anything that doesn’t feel right in your heart, habits, thoughts, deep patterns…start listening to that small voice that shines like cosmic gold, softly in the middle of you…..start trusting that knowing EVERY time. Detach from anything that keeps you in illusion…T.V., internet, videos, anything negative…..and fill your mind with the things you deserve…LOVEing thoughts, kind thoughts, compassionate thoughts and every time a thought wells up inside that is of “old energy” chose to stop it in it’s tracks and ask “is there even a slightly better feeling thought I could be having about this right now” Climb out of hell. It is HARD work, but only you can do it ….and one day, like me, you will realize your mind and heart and soul are on the other side of the emotional see saw, and your are happy, whole and filled with beauty….you no longer hate yourself or feel victim to the world…you don’t care if others like you or not, you only want to help others, and want to feel happy, whole, strong, wise, and proud of yourself, and you start seeing yourself as worthy, as an OVERCOMER, and you want to dance, and enjoy life and see others thriving. You are as perfect as any being that has ever been created, If you were to journey inwards for all of eternity, you would never cease to find fully alive and profound beauty unfolding. This is your birthright. You have all you need within you, you are the only one that can chose to go for it…..there is peace waiting, I am so happy for you!
Big BIG LOVE!
Meredith Penner is an artist, visionary and conscious entrepreneur. Co-founder of Do Nothing Floatation Centre Inc. and RESONATE™ Organic Juicery in beautiful Invermere B.C. If this article speaks to you please share, and/or connect with Meredith at donothing.ca
Do Nothing Floatation Centre Inc.
Float beds, Massage, Hellerwork, Energy Healing Work, Nutrition Counseling, RESONATE™ Organic JUICERY Cold Pressed Juice and Smoothies!
“In the Heart of Invermere”
1036 7th Ave, Invermere BC
Call to reserve your session 778-526-5151
By Abe Brown, Master Coach Trainer
Confused… Cluttered… Exhausted… Worn Out… On Edge…
These words described me, at a point in my life, when nothing was working, efforts were failing, and time was accelerating. There was too much on my plate, not enough in my tank, and my daily calendar had absolutely no margin. A coach of mine suggested that I take some time for a Personal Retreat; to get away and rest, renew, and re-focus. My response was to suggest that I just did not have the time. As soon as I said it, I knew it was not so much that I didn’t have the time, but I was not taking the time. So I did.
When I felt confused, cluttered, exhausted, and worn out, I was not alone. 75% of the general population experiences at least some stress every two weeks. Stress is so prevalent that the U.S. Public Health Service has made reducing stress one of its major health promotion goals. According to the American Institute of Stress, workplace stress costs more than $300 billion each year in health care, missed work, stress-reduction, and lost productivity (stress.org/workplace-stress). Stress contributes to heart disease, high blood pressure, strokes, cancer, and many other illnesses. Stress also affects the immune system, which protects us from many serious diseases. Stress contributes to the development of alcoholism, obesity, suicide, drug addiction, cigarette addiction, and other harmful behaviours.
The truth is that often we are stressed because we do not take time for ourselves. Ovid said that, “What is without periods of rest will not endure.” I agree, and also, who is without rest will also not endure.
Taking the time for Personal Retreats has been a part of personal development and growth for thousands of years. From early Jewish worshippers, to Buddhist monks, to Hindu priests, to spiritual shamans, to Christian monks and nuns, Personal Retreats have been practiced and celebrated through the years by people of every faith and spiritual orientation. Lin Yutang said this: “Besides the noble art of getting things done, there is a nobler art of leaving things undone. The wisdom of life consists in the elimination of nonessentials.”
Personal Retreats have been practiced and celebrated over the years because they Rest the Body. Life can be hard on the body, with the constant demands on all of us to work harder and produce more and engage in more and more activity. Personal Retreats give us the opportunity to rest our bodies, to honour our physical temple, and to recharge our batteries.
Enlighten the Mind
Personal Retreats also Enlighten the Mind. An amazing thing happens when we pause and become still: Our mind is enlightened. Answers and solutions present themselves. The complex becomes simple. Confusion fades. Our mental knots unwind. Resting your mind, and taking time to meditate and dismiss your worries and cares is one of the secrets of energy and empowerment in great women and men. There is power in resting your mind, and actively dismissing all care and worry. The power of rest is that it feeds and nourishes and sustains your mind.
As a result of having a Rested Body and Enlightened Mind, Personal Retreats Nourish the Soul. Our soul, like a tender plant, or even an infant child, needs to be continually nourished and cultivated. The power of a Nourished Soul is such that when properly nourished, we have the motivation, strength, and capacity to nourish and feed others. When we find inner peace and inner rest, we have energy available to empower and enlighten others. Being available to strengthen and support others is surely a part of our collective destiny. Personal Retreats help us here.
Heal the Wounds
Personal Retreats Heal the Wounds. Life, work, business and relationships can hurt at times, and so we need to take time to pull away and heal. Perhaps society has so much visible dysfunction in terms of relationships precisely because we don’t take time to heal. The insecurity, fear, ego, and even anger others project onto us, and we often unknowingly project onto others, may occur simply because the time is not taken to reflect, renew and heal.
Refresh the Spirit
Personal Retreats Refresh the Spirit. When our spirit is refreshed, we encourage ourselves more, bounce back quicker, and are more available to others for mentoring and accountability. We also live our lives with a greater degree of gratitude and less of a degree of entitlement. Our resilience causes us to become a source of refreshing and replenishment to others.
Clarify the Vision
Lastly, Personal Retreats Clarify the Vision. So many times, what was once clear to us in terms of vision and dreams and forward thinking becomes clouded and obscure. I used to have a mirror which found a home in my garage, and of course, it inevitably became dusty. When I looked at the mirror, the image it reflected was not clear. Personal Retreats are an incredible opportunity to withdraw from the hustle and bustle of daily life, so that our vision can again become clear, and so that the dust can be wiped away.
Ancient Hebrew worshipper share the story of the Divine as actually legislating periods of rest. After six days of work, their entire society was commanded to take a day of replenishment, rest, and renewal. After six consecutive years of working a particular field, they were instructed to rest the field in the seventh. Their history described how as a result of not taking time to rest, they fell into unhealthy patterns of living, which, according to the story, led to them losing their land and inheritance. The point is that we always lose when we do not rest.
Sometime this summer, please take some time for you. Find a quiet place. Allocate 24 or 48 or 72 hours. Turn off your ringer. Take a social media fast. Pull yourself away, and simply take time for a Personal Retreat. You will be grateful, and those around you. Ovid, who lived way back from 43 B.C. to 17 A.D., said this: “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” You and I were born to yield a Bountiful Crop! This Bountiful Crop comes as we take time to rest and renew, and taking time for Personal Retreats is an important part of rest and renewal! Happy Retreating!
Abe Brown is the Coach’s Coach, and is the Founder and President of Momentum Coaching, and the President of the Certified Coaches Federation. Momentum Coaching has experienced triple digit growth for several years running, and the Certified Coaches Federation has trained and certified over 10,000 Life and Executive Coaches in the last 8 years. Abe does Leadership and Executive Coaching, and works with profit-based, and non-profit organizations around strategic planning, cultivating fully engaged employees, and facilitating coaching and training programs. He has also worked with several small, medium, and large businesses to accelerate revenue growth and maximize engagement.
By Marianne Disipio-Vitale
In this second part of our 4-issue feature, parents will be presented with an example on how to connect their child’s physical symptoms to stressful events. Parents will also see the benefit of honouring their child’s feelings, regardless of their own interpretation of the situation.
Bringing awareness to physical symptoms
Children benefit greatly from learning to connect their feelings to physical sensations from a very young age. Getting in the habit of doing this can develop the ability to recognize growing fear and manage it before it gets overwhelming.
Child: Mommy, I can’t go to school today, because I have a sore tummy. I think I’m sick.
Parent: Well that doesn’t sound good. I noticed that it really bothered you when you told me that Jane made fun of you yesterday because you couldn’t do the monkey bars. Are you still thinking about that?
Child: Yes. It really hurt my feelings, and now I don’t want to go to recess. I’m scared I won’t have anyone to play with because everyone in my class plays on the monkey bars.
Parent: When you think about this, how does your body feel?
Child: It feels like a knot in my tummy.
Parent: I think that your tummy is telling you that you are still quite worried about recess. I bet it would help if we talked about it. What do you think?
Avoid dismissing feelings
It is important to remind ourselves, that what seems like a trivial problem to us, may be very upsetting and disruptive to our children. Acknowledging our child’s feelings, and validating their concerns, shows respect.
Child: Dad, I’m the shortest boy in the class. It bothers me. I feel ugly, and weak.
Parent: Feeling ugly and weak can be really difficult to deal with at your age. You must be going through a hard time.
Child: Yeah, like the worst.
Parent: I’m sorry to hear that. Tell me about what makes you feel ugly and weak?
Child: Well, I don’t know. No girl would look at a small guy like me, and Sally is even better at push-ups.
Parent: I can see your point and how that could be embarrassing. It is normal that kids at this age grow at different rates. But I understand that it’s not an easy thing.
Child: You have no idea dad.
Parent: Well actually I do. I was the shortest in my class until high school.
Child: Really? Did you hate it?
Parent: It bothered me a bit. I stuck to doing things I knew I did really well, and even better than some people. Made me feel better, and gave me an outlet for my feelings. Is there anything you feel you can do well?
Child: Not really. I’m nothing but a pipsqueak.
Parent: What about your cartoon drawing? You can draw those Ninja characters really well. And you’re always doing it.
Child: I can draw a wicked Ninja actually.
Parent: I know! It’s not an easy time you’re going through right now, but it’s certainly going to change and evolve with time. You might never be tall, and it would help to find a way to accept yourself for now. If you need to talk about it more, I’m here.
Child: I know you are dad, but it still sucks.
Avoid simply smoothing things over with empty encouragement, as it can have the effect of dismissing what your child is feeling, and making their issues seem irrelevant or absurd. It also makes it more difficult for the child to truly explore the root of the problem, and navigate all types of emotions.
Example of what to avoid in the same situation:
Parent: Don’t be silly. You’re the handsomest, the smartest, and you’re awesome at drawing!
Child: But dad, you’re just saying that. I won’t be able to get a girlfriend if I’m this small. It’s so embarrassing.
Parent: I’m not tall and I found your mom! Stop thinking like that! It serves no purpose to be negative. You’re a great kid, and that’s all that counts. Now go and wash up for dinner.
In the next issue of Trifecta Magazine, we will explore how to help our children develop insight, as well as easy things to implement at home.
By Lisa Elle
If you are setting financial goals without knowing the WHY behind it, don’t! What most people do is set random goals along these lines, “I want to have $1,000,000 by age 65!”
I can’t begin to tell you how many clients say this to me and then how many clients don’t follow through, give up, or get frustrated with their financial situation and create the opposite of what they want for themselves.
Okay, yes, it is super possible, totally doable and super easy to save a million when you start saving at a younger age, however there is no FIRE behind words just tossed out into thin air. And why a million? Is it just some marketing scheme we’ve been trained to aspire to from some old school retirement commercial?
There is no passion, no emotion, no energy behind random financial goals or copying your neighbours financial goals. To make your goals meaningful, accomplishable, and the ability to stick by them over the years, you need to know the reasons why you want to hit that specific target. What’s the WHY behind your financial goals?
Let’s face it. Most of us don’t even think about retirement. We are just trying to get through till tomorrow, so thinking about something like retirement feels like this illusive dream or something so far down that road that we have plenty of time to think about it later, and then we put it on the back burner.
This is why I recommend setting short term financial goals for something you really want in your life that you can accomplish in the next six to twenty-four months. To do this, we need to start putting our efforts into what really matters to us and setting short term goals and accomplishing them – this is what really keeps your fire going. Here are the 3 steps you need to know to put some sizzle back into your money!
#1 FIGURE OUR YOUR HOT SIZZLE!
Most people don’t ever get to the point in their lives where they have made the decision to have a fire or a deep burning desire to just go out and accomplish their goals or even have the guts to dream big in the first place. The problem is most of us are trying to use our fuel on so many different ideas or we try this or that and we aren’t actually focused on one fire, rather we haphazardly throw our fuel around, wasting it, without focus.
If you find yourself spinning your financial wheels, then you haven’t given enough thought or energy to discerning what it is that you are actually trying to accomplish in life, which spills over into your financial affairs. Take a journal and write out what is most important to you. Knowing your WHY really is the most important first step to allowing money to flow freely to your dreams.
#2 REMEMBER, IT’S NOT ABOUT THE FUEL, IT’S ABOUT THE FIRE!
The fuel you use for your fire doesn’t matter as much as the heat it produces. Type of fuel is not important. If you build a fire, your goal is usually to have heat, or to cook something, or to burn something. Don’t get caught up in the type of fuel that you use to get the fire going.
Same goes for your financial picture. Some people get so caught up in what type of financial account they need or what to invest in, or if this type of insurance is better than that type of insurance. Just do something already! Procrastination and worry over what type of plan is perfect can kill your financial planning. Good intentions do nothing for you. Yes, do your due diligence, but also go with your gut feeling when it comes to deciding if a plan, type of an account, or investment is good for you.
Take the action necessary to get there. How you get there is not as important as taking the step to do something. Providence will move with you when you get clear on what you want!
#3 FEEL THE BURN BABY!
When you aren’t taking action in your financial life, you’re staying small, playing small. You are like stuff that hasn’t caught fire yet. Add some heat to your life.
How do you catch your financial self on fire? Easy! Take action. Book that date with your awesome financial advisor, or start an automatic savings plan for the specific money goals you’ve set. I’ve met with hundreds of families and individuals over the years, and what makes me sad, frustrated and so passionate is that most people don’t know what they want from their money, or from life. This is my fire and my reason for doing what I’m doing.
Remember this – the fire, passion, dreams, goals are never really about the money. Making the money is a by-product of having those plans in place so money has a place to flow to. So, why not put the sizzle back into your money?
By Christina Marlett
When I was in grade 2, my extra-curricular activity was competitive tap dancing. Each year, my group of girls prepared two competitive pieces. This particular year, our song and dance piece was called Together.
Thirty years later, I can still remember all the words:
“Wherever we go,
Whatever we do,
We’re gonna go through it together.
We may not go far,
but sure as a star,
we’re gonna go through it together.”
Our costumes were hobo-themed. Imagine this. Bowler hat with a white carnation flopping out. Bright yellow t-shirt. Black and white checkered pants with red suspenders. Tap shoes covered in white felt and three black strips of electric tape on each side. What a stylin’ group of 8 year old girls!
We were a talented bunch. We had great tap skills for our age. We worked hard and did what we were told. (I can still hear my teacher yelling: SMILE!!! STRAIGHT LINE!!!)
Generally, when we competed, we earned high marks; 85% and up. That was good enough for a gold medal and usually we placed 1st or 2nd in our age category. For whatever reason though, we didn’t have the same success with Together. It was more of a silver medal dance. I didn’t like that! Silver felt like failure to me. I was used to gold medals and rave reviews. Yep, 8 years old and only the best would do for me.
Each spring, we competed in several competitions, the major one being in Edmonton. It was a big deal. Me, my mom and my younger sister traveled 90 minutes by car with all our costumes and makeup in tow.
The Wild Rose Dance Festival was the culmination of the year’s work. Groups that performed exceptionally well got to be in the Show of Stars at the end of the week. Oh how I yearned to be in that show! It would prove that I was the best. (I guess even the gold medals weren’t really good enough for me. If there was a higher honour, I wanted it!)
So, there we were backstage, waiting to compete in all our hobo glory. I knew that I would have to give it my all if we were to improve our results with this dance. It was our turn. We took our place on stage and the music started. The bright lights blinded me but I performed for the adjudicators like never before. My taps were crisp. My arms were sharp. I belted out that tune, willing my voice to fill the theater.
“No fits, no fights, no feuding, no Egos.
I smiled until my cheeks trembled. I hit every move perfectly from beginning to end. It was my gold medal performance. Or so I thought.
At judging time, we all walked onstage, lined up and stood in our prescribed pose (feet in 3rd position, hands clasped behind our backs, chin up, smile plastered on face). In those days, the adjudicator would come up onstage with a microphone and give us our comments, marks and awards directly. We waited with anticipation.
When it was our turn, the adjudicator said something to the effect that our number was good but not great. Then she said, “I did see one performer with a lot of energy though.” She looked down the line in my direction.
She went on, “I just love to see that kind of enthusiasm! It’s so wonderful that you have a little boy in your group!”
We glanced nervously at each other. We didn’t have a boy in our group. Who was she talking about? Then she walked right up to me and said, “Good job young man!” Oh horror of horrors! She thought I was a boy!
The girls came to my rescue and cried out that I was a girl. The adjudicator apologized but I was crushed. Then we got our silver medal. I guess in retrospect, it was a compliment. I stood out. My energy and hard work was noticeable. However, it was also deeply wounding.
At that young, impressionable age, I determined that if I shined as bright as I could, people would not see me for who I was. They would be confused about one of the most fundamental things about me-that I’m a girl. A small part of me dimmed a little on that stage. It took many years of deep personal inquiry and work to learn to shine again.
That’s one of the reasons I feel so strongly about my process called Ugly Awkward Dancing. It’s an invitation to show up as exactly who you are, no matter what other people think of you. Even if they get you totally wrong, at least you are free.
And then we can all shine as brightly as possible in our vulnerability and courageous awkwardness.
“Through thick and through thin.
All out or all in.
And whether it’s win, place or show.
It’s you for me and me for you,
We’ll muddle through whatever we do,
Together, wherever, we go.”
Christina Marlett BKin, BEd
Self-Care Expert, Embodiment Coach, International Best Selling Author and Producer of The Ugly Awkward Dance Show