Inner Strength and Influence
By Teresa de Grosbois
The worst year of my life was the best thing that ever happened to me. I can affectionately look back on it now because of the change and growth it caused in me. At the time, all I could think of was how unhappy I was. In the first six months of that year, my father died, my marriage failed, my company failed and I lost my health.
There I was, late one night, sitting on the bathroom floor of my new condo. I have always renovated as a hobby and this bathroom was my latest project. I was looking at all the tools, and I burst into tears. The realization hit me – it was me that needed renovating.
That moment, on that bathroom floor, was the first step of my path to embracing inner strength and influence.
Have you ever truly thought about what influence is and why it’s important? Influence is our ability to cause change in the world – from shifting a political agenda to impacting whether meatloaf gets served in our cafeteria.
The challenge is that most of us are hard-wired with an inner dialogue that stops us from being influential. If you’ve read any self-help or leadership books in the last three decades, you have heard of the concept of a self-limiting belief – that inner conversation that runs in the back of your mind that says you aren’t big enough, important enough, smart enough, educated enough or well, just enough.
Research shows that the only people who don’t have self-limiting beliefs stopping them from becoming influential tend to be sociopaths. When everyday heroes and good people stop themselves from stepping into leadership and influence, we, as a society, risk having our children grow up in a world run by sociopaths, which is not the world any of us are committed to creating.
Inner strength comes from having the courage to take on your inner dialogue and play a bigger game, which is exactly what I decided to do that night on that bathroom floor. And when you look at influential people, you’ll see that not only have they found a way to overcome their own limiting beliefs, but also operate by a different set of principles than most people.
One of the reasons I wrote Mass Influence was that I wanted entrepreneurs, everyday heroes and good people to realize that influence is simply a skill we can learn by adopting certain habits.
Here are the top three habits you can build to increase your influence in your community, your business or your project.
1. Solve a big problem for other people
Vision inspires; day-to-day activities do not. Influential people are driven by their why, not their what. Influencers define themselves by their vision of making a big difference, not by what they do or how they do it.
The bigger the problem you solve for others, the bigger the service you provide, the more happiness or relief you bring, the easier it is to be the subject of positive word of mouth and, as a result, have influence.
2. Be authentic
Being passionate about what you do is a big part of authenticity. Do something you care about deeply and only do business with and play with others you respect. When you’re in the flow of your purpose, the fame and influence will come as soon as you put the actions in place that garner fame and create influence. Influence requires you to take your place among the community of influential, and true influence stems from keeping your focus on serving others.
3. Build relationships with other influential people
The ability to cause change in the world depends on many factors, not the least of which is the people with whom you choose to surround yourself. It starts with strong relationships.
Influential people assertively seek out and build relationships with other influential people who they respect and admire regardless of the area in which they hold influence. Find the people who agree with you. Forget the opponents. The highly influential know there is no gold in trying to convince the naysayers. Gather those who want to help you move powerfully towards your goal.
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If you are looking to hold influence, know that you have everything you need to get started. You have the strength to take that first step. Whether it’s change within your community, your corporation or the world at large, the principles of mass influence are the same. Mastering the concept of what creates influence can be a hard idea to grasp, much less follow. Yet, like riding a bike, once you master being influential, you’ll wonder how you ever thought it was hard.
Living your dreams takes action. Otherwise you’re just dreaming.
Teresa de Grosbois,
#1 International bestselling author of Mass Influence – www.MassInfluenceTheBook.com