The Strength I Gained by Falling Apart
By Ramona Remesat
The theme of this issue of Trifecta Magazine is Resolve to Be Strong and as I sit down to write about this, I find myself going through a mix of emotions.
You see, the last two weeks have been incredibly difficult for me as we had a sudden loss in our family. If you watched the popular daytime TV show, Steven & Chris, you may have heard that one of the co-hosts, Christopher Hyndman died tragically and unexpectedly at the young age of 49. Chris left behind his co-host and life partner, Steven Sabados, who also happens to be my beloved cousin.
As soon as I heard the news of Christopher’s passing my heart shattered into a million pieces. I was absolutely heart-broken for my cousin Steven who had built an amazing life with Chris over the past 27 years. Together in life, and in business, they were everything to each other.
Resolve to be Strong.
Isn’t it ironic how this is the theme for the Winter issue of Trifecta yet so apropos to me now as I sit to write about it in August.
When we gather in a time of loss, it’s a normal feeling to want to “be strong” for those most deeply affected. Indeed, I thought my role in traveling back to Ontario to be with family would be to stay strong and help support them in their grief. Instead, I learned that sometimes real strength comes from falling apart completely and then slowly putting the pieces back together.
“Without darkness, there can be no light”
I quickly realized that there was no way in hell I was going to be the strong one! And when I stepped back into a place of surrender, I learned that real strength comes from giving yourself permission to be who you are and to ask for what you want.
Here’s what that looked like for me…
Be who you are – No matter how hard I tried to appear strong at all times, it just wasn’t what I was feeling. I was a mess and I knew it and I felt no reason to hide it. That’s because true strength doesn’t come from hiding or repressing your feelings, it comes from being genuine and authentic. In my grief, I found comfort in telling others how much I was hurting and allowing myself to feel what I needed to feel. By allowing myself to cry and grieve in my own way, I allowed the healing process to begin.
Ask for what you need – Grief is an individual process meaning no two people will experience grief in the same way. While one person may need comfort from others, someone else may want to be left alone. Regardless, recognizing what you need in the moment and going ahead and asking for it, is not only okay, but a necessary step in the healing process.
Accepting help from others – I was overwhelmed at the outpouring of support that came to me in the form of phone calls, emails, texts and posts. Many people asked if there was anything I needed and I found it healing and comforting to ask for prayers of healing, love and support for Steven, our family, Christopher’s family, all their friends and also the fans of the show. Keep those prayers coming!
The last several weeks have truly been a learning experience for me. Although grief is incredibly difficult, I am grateful for all the lessons it has revealed to me. And I am grateful because it shows that I love deeply with all of my heart and soul. Without darkness, there can be no light. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
Ramona Remesat is an Intuitive Mindset Coach, Angel Therapy Practitioner®, speaker and author. She works with spiritually open-minded women coaches, consultants and entrepreneurs who struggle with fears, stress and self-doubt who want to stop second-guessing themselves, make clear and confident decisions and crush their limiting mind stories. Get started today with The Three Essential Steps to Getting Anything You Want in Life at www.ramonaremesat.com.